As courses transition to an in-person format, students must adjust to the different testing conditions. Gone are the days of taking a final exam in bed on your laptop. More importantly, gone are the days of taking a final exam with Google at your fingertips.
You might be wondering, “How can I succeed?” Luckily, Ha’Am has compiled a list of the top five techniques for successful test-taking in person.
- Engage in Ritual Song- You might not know this but the Jewish song “Echad Mi Yodea” (Who Knows One) is not just sung at Passover seders. In fact, Jews have a religious obligation protected by the first amendment to sing it during any multiple choice exam. Each verse of the song asks, “who knows” and then some number. For example, the fifth verse asks, “who knows five?” After each verse asking a question, the answers are given in descending order. During the Passover seder, the answers are the likes of “two are the tablets.” But during multiple choice exams, whoever knows the answer would shout out “five is C”. This ritual is a foolproof way to get through multiple choice exams
- Meet With Binyomin and Your TA- Another sure way to have a successful finals season is to introduce your TA (or whoever is grading your exams) to Binyomin – Binyomin Franklin that is. Few TAs are so ethical that they will pass the opportunity to cash in on the deal of a century. You’ll get a 100 on the exam, but that’s what it will cost.
- Learn Some Morse Code- Now that classes are back on campus, it will be much harder to do the classic “text your friend with your phone outside the view of your webcam.” But thanks to Samuel Morse, there’s an old-fashioned technique that’s been around for more than a century. All you need to do is learn Morse code with a few friends in the class and you’ll .- -.-. . / ..-. .. -. .- .-.. … !
- Perfect the Glance- A method as old as the concept of the exam itself, looking at your neighbor’s exam is a sure way to succeed (unless they were planning on looking at yours too). Because this method is so commonplace, it’s precisely what the proctors are waiting to nail you for doing. So, spend some time before you take the final – all that time you would have spent studying – and practice looking over your shoulder inconspicuously. It’ll definitely be time better spent than actually studying.
- Sound the Alarms- If all else fails, do whatever it takes to get your exams canceled. Have a friend pull a fire alarm – or better yet, start an actual fire. That’ll teach your professors not to give you any more of those pesky finals.
So there you have it, the top five ways to succeed on your final exams. If you don’t fancy any of those methods, you can always drop out of school and never see a final exam again. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be the next Bill Gates.
“The views expressed in this post reflects the views of the author(s) and not UCLA or ASUCLA Communications Board.”
